Breatharianism is minimalism on a plate—all to match your ultrapure white walls, tastefully colorless furniture, and listless dog.
Continue ReadingGateway Dishes For Wanna-Be Breatharians Jesus will be among us, digging into a platter of boneless chicken wings and a Diet Coke for only $10.99 plus sales tax! Hallelujah!
Continue ReadingThe Second Coming of Christ Shall Take Place in This Applebee’s I’ve always wanted to live out my Eat, Pray, Love fantasies, working remotely in some paradise Bali or wherever it was they shot Love Island two years ago.
Continue ReadingA Digital Nomad’s Guide To Living In A Barbie Dreamhouse Here is an important essay about Boston, Massachusetts. It will change your mind about many things and possibly every thing.
Continue ReadingThoughts on Boston, MA How to order coffee like a local, while also apologizing for the horrors of the last couple hundred years of American foreign policy.
Continue ReadingTravel Tips: How To Order Coffee While Apologizing Profusely For American Empire When a server perishes while trying to use her considerable udders to paddle to safety through 16 feet of white-hot magma, we all feel it.
Continue ReadingWe’re Sorry For Constructing The World’s Largest Titty Bar Over This Underground Volcanic Caldera 
