“Smile now, dear,” he whispers. The tuna fish-scented breath mixed with stale booze wafts into your ear as his scaly fingers pinch your cheeks into a smile
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You, Too, Can Live Like A King—Assuming Your Father’s A Wealthy Corporate Takeover Specialist
Wanna know what it takes to live like a king? It’s simple really. Have a father who is a wealthy corporate takeover specialist.
TV Listings For FreedomFlix, The Premium Streaming Service For Conservatives
“Get Well Soon, Y’hear?” (Game Show, 30 min) Terminally ill patients compete for the ultimate prize: all-expenses-paid lifesaving medical treatment.
We’re So Sorry About What Happened To Your Town But “Bird Attack” Is Not Covered By Your Insurance
We regret to inform you that “bird madness” is not covered by your current plan(s). We understand that this may come as an unpleasant shock.
How I (A Half-Man/Half-Ant Hybrid) Found A Date To Prom
Step Three: Practice your kissing in the mirror – make sure to focus on sticking your lips past your mandibles. Girls like that.
Mary Poppins Adopts Tim Ferriss’s 4-Hour Work Week
“Children, you’ve both been promoted to the position of intern. In addition to straightening up the nursery, you will also clean my room and fetch my tea.”