The new hotness in fart jokes & anti-capitalism
“I will no longer be seduced by your meat-filled meals,” I screamed. A droplet of drool escaped my mouth from the chicken pot pie at the end of the table.
If you’re a descendent of Cortés, you definitely are haunted in your slumber by La Malinche, the Nahua woman also known as Doña Marina.
We used to be so good together. No judgments. Only acceptance… You ignored when I’d squeak, I ignored when you’d fart.
I’ll make sure to provide plenty of substrate in your cages for burrowing. Burrowing builds character, or at least I hope it does.
Jeff Bezos gave me some funding to create a new planet: Bearth! Basically, it’s Earth. But, like, if humans didn’t destroy it.
Compliment your deli guy’s non-deli activity, such as his gait, his nimble cashier fingers, and his charming bigotries.
🤑 Subscribe to Widget, the oligarchs you deserve!
Free stuff is possible, despite what the austerity pigs say!
- Work It magazines: 2 x 25+ page, full colour magazine to rocket you 2 da top of the business world!
- Bonus podcast: Casual Fridays, a weekly chat and call-in show.
- Perks from our peers in the Coil comedy bundle: Hard Times/Drive, Reductress, The Beaverton, and many more!
More recent stuffs…
Those who study our archives are oft tormented by the eldritch secrets they unearth. But you’ll be fine probably.
Breatharianism is minimalism on a plate—all to match your ultrapure white walls, tastefully colorless furniture, and listless dog.
Jesus will be among us, digging into a platter of boneless chicken wings and a Diet Coke for only $10.99 plus sales tax! Hallelujah!
I’ve always wanted to live out my Eat, Pray, Love fantasies, working remotely in some paradise Bali or wherever it was they shot Love Island two years ago.
Here is an important essay about Boston, Massachusetts. It will change your mind about many things and possibly everything.
How to order coffee like a local, while also apologizing for the horrors of the last couple hundred years of American foreign policy.
When a server perishes while trying to use her considerable udders to paddle to safety through 16 feet of white-hot magma, we all feel it.
I gave up on my sourdough starter three months ago when it turned grey and started emitting a strange, high-pitch sound.
It was not my most glamorous adventure to date, but I brought home the grandest souvenir… my first and second COVID-19 vaccinations.
We rank the season’s hottest burial plots. Dying soon? Check it out!