The new hotness in fart jokes & anti-capitalism
Getting involved with her was dangerous, he knew… Those last seventeen sexual harassment lawsuits had broken his heart nearly beyond repair…
Q: Did you complete 6 years of astronaut training? A: No, but I watched a movie once about an astronaut starring Sandra Bullock while eating Moon Pies!
Alexa is always listening. Even when it seems like she isn’t.
There must be great romance advice in the book. Pretty soon, I’ll be the biggest stud in all of grade 9 – on top of being Chess Club President!
You should avoid punishing people outside of work. For example, don’t use one of your belt snakes to slap someone for not texting you back.
You must be tri-lingual. English, Arabic, and Chinese language proficiency is a must. Swahili is helpful. Czech would be extraordinary.
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More recent stuffs…
Those who study our archives are oft tormented by the eldritch secrets they unearth. But you’ll be fine probably.
Standardized testing is a brilliant mechanism for sorting children. It separates the winners from the losers, the royalty from the peasants…
E (VOWEL): “As the most common letter I had to do something. Letters see me as a leader and a good leader deals with any unrest.”
These skills can help you gain entry into any elite university or low-level bank, and will set you up for success in life – unless, of course, you get caught.
DeeDee is a 2nd grader who has a hard time sitting still. Her go-to snacks include flavor-blasted goldfish, Mott’s fruit snacks, and powdered sugar donuts.
When a mouse looks in the mirror, he’ll see himself for the first time. Soon he’ll realise that this is how everyone else in the world perceives him.
WEEK 5: MENTAL HEALTH I cannot stress this enough – go to therapy now, because it’s super hard to make an appointment when lockdown hits.
Here are all the tips and tricks I’ve learned in the past year to turn your Cuomosexual mother into a vulgar Marxist with 300k followers on twitter.
Next time you see your Mama, fall to her feet and recite Hail Mary, three times. You are lucky to have her. Don’t you dare upset her!
I type this letter with great care, as I do not have hands and can only press one letter at a time with my bottom.