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Lillian Stone is a Chicago-based humor writer covering food and sex. By day, she's a staff writer at The Takeout. By night, she's a headline and features contributor for The Onion and a regular ol’ contributor for outlets like The New Yorker, MEL Magazine, Real Simple, Allure, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and Reductress.
We’re Sorry For Constructing The World’s Largest Titty Bar Over This Underground Volcanic Caldera
When a server perishes while trying to use her considerable udders to paddle to safety through 16 feet of white-hot magma, we all feel it.