Jeff Bezos gave me some funding to create a new planet: Bearth! Basically, it’s Earth. But, like, if humans didn’t destroy it.
Compliment your deli guy’s non-deli activity, such as his gait, his nimble cashier fingers, and his charming bigotries.
Breatharianism is minimalism on a plate—all to match your ultrapure white walls, tastefully colorless furniture, and listless dog.
Jesus will be among us, digging into a platter of boneless chicken wings and a Diet Coke for only $10.99 plus sales tax! Hallelujah!
I’ve always wanted to live out my Eat, Pray, Love fantasies, working remotely in some paradise Bali or wherever it was they shot Love Island two years ago.
How to order coffee like a local, while also apologizing for the horrors of the last couple hundred years of American foreign policy.