The Widget lexicon of business terms

This piece is adapted from a scene in Work It’s episode on business communication (which Coil subscribers can get the script for, though TBH it’s basically identical to this. But subscribe anyway).

Terms for make you boss

Stakeholders

These are some guys holding some steaks.

All-hands

This means two, because that’s all your hands. If all your hands have all their fingers, the meeting is considered to be fully digital.

Engagement

When your social media users like your post, first they have an engagement with it, then they marry it, then they make little babies with it and then they die.

Org. chart

This is a chart of all company orgies.

Deliverables

Pizza, Chinese food, stuff like that.

Action items

So it’s like when there’s a big fireball and Bruce Willis is running away from it and he goes “You’re fired” or “I’m feeling hot” – classic action item.

C-suite

Wouldn’t it be sweet if all the executives were lost at sea?

Scalable

Thanks to the fine work by the good people at the donut shop, Sam is becoming increasingly scalable.

References

That’s when our writing gets real lazy and we just go “What if the Popples and Captain N the Game Master were, like, friends? Is that anything?”