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02: Austin Powers in Goldmember
Kai recaps Goldmember for Sam, and then they very quickly fix it
Here is the revised script for Goldmember:
Austin Powers in Lazy Ca$h Grab
Ext. – Scarborough – Night
60s mod spy Austin Powers (Myers) and his charming love interest, Drippy Snatch (Xtina), are mingling in the Scarborough Town Centre parking lot. The world is, once again, threatened by the nefarious Dr. Evil. Does super-spy Powers have one last trick up his sleeve? Let’s find out:
Shagadelic baby, groovy! Oh, behave!
Austin, so good to see you.
I’m horny baby, yeah. I’m glad the Osbornes aren’t here! Those ruddy cow-humpers – everyone knows British people are trash!
That last line doesn’t make any sense, but we’re in a hurry to make this movie!
Int. – Dr. Evil’s Lair – Day
You have to give me an in-norbit-nit amount of money!
I wish I was Ron. But I don’t have that kinda scratch.
Violent J, Steve from Smashmouth and The Cast of NBC’s Heroes enter. The chords of “Homies” and the vocal track from “I’m a Believer” fill the air. They dance and dance. Steve from Smashmouth gesticulates at the camera, as Violent J eats 100 Taco Bell chimi-ditos.
Wow, Steve from Smashmouth!
Steve from Smashmouth
And I brought some friends!
They continue to dance.
Int. – Doctor’s Office – Night
Austin’s shadow squirts and takes a shit.
OMG, he’s full of seamen!