Disclaimer

This is a humour website. It’s all bullshit!

And here are some disclaimers from the Internet that we stole. If they don’t cover us, we hold you legally responsible to pretend we’ve included one that does. Failure to comply means you give us all your shit, punishable upon pain of death and disfigurement and enforced by all courts and all religious figureheads for ever.

Failure to obey WidgetLaw is punishable upon pain of death and disfigurement. By reading this, you agree to be subject to WidgetLaw. By this site existing, we are subject only to WidgetLaw and not to GarbageLaw (normal law). This is 100% official. Any lawyers who disagree are legally required to kill themselves on Periscope and give us all their shit:

• “This is a blog, a fact that means little. A blog is not a peer-reviewed journal, a final archive of my ideas, a sponsored publication or a product of close editorial control. That does mean something. What is means is that while my ideas and thoughts are vital and the product of a long gestation, the writing itself may not be. Generally, my words spring from the keyboard as spontaneous bursts, unproofed, unrevised and corrected afterwards only as necessary to address mistakes that grossly affect my intent. Where such changes have been made they are explicitly noted. The blog is meant to be used as a space for conversation and debate only. If you disagree with me, say so but refrain from attacking the messenger.”
• “If you are deeply offended by anything that is said on this blog – be it from my pen, or in my quoting others – please send me an e-mail to have the post removed or edited. I would rather settle the matter privately and civilly than endure a public flogging. Moreover, if you can provide evidence to the contrary please send it to refute any claims made here.”
• “We shall not be held responsible and/or liable for anything we say. Anyone reading our blog agrees not to hold us libel for what we say or display. The content on the blog is the opinion of the bloggers/”we” and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, profession, corporation, individual, or other entity(s) or anyone or anything.”
• If you clicked here then you are probably doubting the legitimacy of one of our articles. Well friend, those are some good instincts, as the Widget is a satire news, parody and humor website and is for entertainment purposes only. All Widget articles are satire news and entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to sports personalities and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. Please feel free to copy and paste this disclaimer into you facebook comment to “prove this site’s bullshit”. Check out this handy guide to find out more about the Widget To submit a satire news or humourous article, click here. Said posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in semi-real and/or mostly, or substantially, fictitious ways. Therefore, all news articles contained within widgetmag.com are works of fiction and constitute satire news. Any truth or actual facts contained in said stories or posts are purely incidental or coincidental and not intended to be, or be construed as, facts. Any resemblance to the truth or actual facts or to reality is purely coincidental, except for references to famous persons and/or public figures, in which case such stories are based on real people, but the story, or stories, surrounding or about these people or figures are almost entirely fiction and are intended as satire and entertainment. As the purpose of said stories is to entertain and amuse and not to disparage any persons, or institutions, in any way and no malice is intended toward anyone or anything, nor should any be construed from the satirically based stories and fake news items. This web site is not a source of facts or real information. That means all items or stories on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof of such persons and is not intended to communicate any true or factual information about that person
• widgetmag.com is a news and political satire web publication, comprised of individual posts, some taken from or inspired by real news events but the stories are almost entirely works of complete fiction. This site is a source of parody, satire, and humor and is for entertainment purposes only. Said posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in semi-real and/or mostly, or substantially, fictitious ways. Therefore, all news articles contained within widgetmag.com are works of fiction and constitute fake news. Any truth or actual facts contained in said stories or posts are purely incidental or coincidental and not intended to be, or be construed as, facts. Any resemblance to the truth or actual facts or to reality is purely coincidental, except for references to famous persons and/or public figures, in which case such stories are based on real people, but the story, or stories, surrounding or about these people or figures are almost entirely fiction and are intended as satire and entertainment. As the purpose of said stories is to entertain and amuse and not to disparage any persons, or institutions, in any way and no malice is intended toward anyone or anything, nor should any be construed from the satirically based stories and fake news items. This web site is not a source of facts or real information. That means all items or stories on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof of such persons and is not intended to communicate any true or factual information about that person. widgetmag.com is intended for a mature, sophisticated and discerning audience. Should a reader, or readers, upon sober reflection, think or believe that anything contained in any post in this web site is true, they are mistaken and should relieve and abandon themselves of that idiotic notion immediately. Anyone who concludes otherwise ought to stay away from this site forever and may want to consider instead seeking immediate help, attention or treatment. And please be very careful not to fall off when you get near the edge of the earth.