New Meats

Ray from Ray’s Butcher Shop here. Look: We’re out of normal meats.

Hey folks, it your pal Ray Davolio from Ray’s Butcher Shop.

Look, it’s like this:

We’re out of normal meats.

Times are tough during this whole quarantine thing. Hey, too bad I can’t sell the meat from any of these corpses, eh? Har har har!

Sorry. I didn’t mean it. We’re all a little on edge, but I crossed the line there. Listen, why don’t I just tell you about the exciting new meats we’ve got in stock here at Ray’s Butcher Shop and we’ll forget the whole ‘human meat’ thing.

On sale today at Ray’s Butcher Shop, we’ve got you covered for:

  • Fly thigh
  • Mouse mash
  • Roach liver
  • For the Italian food lover in your life, try our: Millipede-zza! (This is millipede meat pizza.)
  • Squirrel hand
  • Delicious, nutritious fish lips! Bring the kids!

And that’s not all! We’ve got:

  • Pigeon dick
  • Fricasseed fur clumps
  • Rat blood
  • Ant patties
  • Diet, caffeine-free earwig
  • Litter-loaf
  • Wet spider bits
  • Dog things
  • And duck spit

So come on down to Ray’s Butcher Shop and try our new meats. And make sure to bring an appetite!

I’ll fill your mouth with fish lips!

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Sam Allemang
Sam Allemang

Editor, Widget.

Articles: 23

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